I got fired

Top 5 songs if the following things happen to me:

-          Got fired

-          Hate the entire world

-          I’m motivated

-          I’m drawing

-          I’m bored but I want to be motivated again.

-          when I broke up with someone.

-          When someone broke up with me.

And what happened now?

I just got fired. But I knew something was going to happen.

I’m sure you also know the feeling when everything is just fine and perfect like in a girly Disney movie. 

You smile all day like an idiot, you’re confident and courageous, birds are singing, your enemies are jealous of your coolness, you find 50 $ on the pavement and everyone wants to be like you.

And then when you don’t expect it… Your life gives you a finger. 

And this is my story how I had a job for almost two days. 

I met my future (now ex) boss, everything went very well. We drunk some beers, smoked, and talked a lot. 

And finally he started what I exactly wanted to hear:

“I am going to help you. You seem a nice guy, don’t worry! I want to hire you, I want to work with you! Come into my office sometime and we’ll sign the papers”

Well two days later I got this message from him: Sorry, this is real life. We’ve found a lot better person than you.”

So welcome to the “I’m unemployed and living on my parents” club again. But technically I didn’t get fired because I still hadn’t work for that guy. 

But I trusted him as shit. However

I was just sitting for a while (or maybe for 30 minutes) I started thinking:

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! A lot better person? What the shit do you mean by that?”

2 minutes later it got worse, of course:

“You bastard… then go and fuck your real life in doggy style! I am just an idiot, I fucked up again etc.”

 But it has helped me realize something. Just imagine you walk on the street and see a mother and her daughter. This mother is yelling at her the following way:

“You didn’t do your homework, you little motherfucker?! You’re just a useless piece of shit, I don’t understand how you could come into this world.”

What would you do? I think You’d want to kick that mother or at least yell at her to stop. 

And now let’s see another situation:

What are your thoughts like when you fuck up something?
“I’m an idiot, of course I fucked it up. I’m the biggest loser in history. I wish a car hit me.”

I realized it does matter how I speak about myself and I have to know where I am as a person. I think you can change your diet, you can change your friends, house, car, the country where you live in, but the most important thing is the way how you think.

And I needed 22 years to realize this. What a loser, bastard, idiot, nice person I am.

So here’s my list –

-          One republic – I lived

-          A day to remember – All I want

-          Shinedown – Goodbye is a second chance

-          Shinedown – The sound of madness

-          Nightwish – The islander

And how my project is going?

I haven’t smoked for 62 hours, and since this project I walk a lot and I drink 1.5 litres of water every day. Of course it’s gonna get harder, 2 litres then 3 and more kilometres, more challenges. But it’s still the first month and I want to get used to my new life which doesn’t include cigarettes, sugar, boring stuff, and depression.

And what do I do when I just got fired?
First I’m licking my wound like a dog. Afterwards I give a finger to the whole world and just smile!