So I’m still a big and enthusiastic member of the “ I am unemployed and my life sucks” club, but at least I don’t miss smoking.

I don’t support or enrich the tobacco factories and I became a regular customer of the local shop, a superstar who goes there three or four times a day to buy some shit. 

My health might be grateful but my wallet is “sicker” than ever. I guess you also know the “moth effect” when only a moth flies out of your wallet. I’ve became penniless as hell so in my case only a moth corpse would come out.

And how is my smoke free life?

Awesome! It is just awesome. I’d say if it I was telling the truth.

Unfortunately I can’t sleep well (which is not a problem now because I have no job, I can do whatever and whenever I want to do all day long) and as I mentioned earlier, sooner or later I’m going to gobble my flat mates and the whole kitchen equipment. 

The situation is kind of similar with my energy. One day I went to drink a couple of beers with my friends and I started telling them a quite long story. 

I was full of energy, jokes in every sentence and I was just enjoying my moment. 5 minutes later I was hallucinating about my bed. 

My mood is also in sync with my energy and my friends don’t know how to tolerate this thing right now.

Another “it’s kind of sad but true” thing is that I’m becoming an antisocial person and I’m really longing for alcohol especially a big and cold glassware of beer or a nice semi-sweet red wine.

But there are also some good effects of stoping smoking –

I feel strong and I am getting stronger. I live on the second floor and although the house has an elevator, I don’t use it. I still remember when I tried to climb the stairs for the first time. I thought I was on the Mount Everest, now it’s really easy. My teeth are whiter and I think that’s all I can say. Not too much, right? 

I have neither a girlfriend nor a job, and at this very moment I only have 2 euros (about 600 Hungarian forints) two slices of bread and one apple. Despite I am very optimistic and this blog helps me a lot, and I really need to continue my program but I had to admit that my “no sugar for 8 months” plan was stupid. I need sugar, my awesome Greek god looking body needs sugar, but not too much. So I’ve decided to eat it twice a week, let’s say on Monday and on Friday I’m allowed to eat sweet stuff. And my last sentences for today:

Because I’m in Hungary my blog is also available in Hungarian. (translation still in progress) 

Check it out!

How to stop smoking. Honest version I.

My biggest mistake I’ve ever made when I lighted my first cigarette. Honestly I didn’t feel anything. 

I felt the smoke in my mouth, I took a deep breath and that’s all. Nothing special. I went home and told the story to my mother with a proud and “don’t kill me mother” face.

If I remember correctly her answer was something like this: 

"Congratulations son, you idiot **(bad word) now you’ll die."

 (I was 13, of course she wanted to scare me) and I hoped it was my first and last relationship with that white thin bastard (I’m talking about the cigarettes, not my mother. Just to be clear)

Then high-school broke my door and came into my life like the bank when you don’t pay back anything. 

Everyone was smoking. Always. 

I started too, why not? I thought smoking made me look older and cooler. I thought “yeah bitches and motherfuckers, I’m the cool guy” (I wasn’t of course, I was one of those losers who just wanted to fit in a group)

First I didn’t smoke every day but it changed of course. I started smoking every morning, and it got worse and worse. 

Before school, after school, at school, in the bathroom of the school, before eating, after eating. When I should’ve learnt I smoked. So always. At 18 I decided to stop smoking forever, it was my first try. And I did it!!! (for 2 hours) I tried almost everything. Meditation, porn, alcohol, jogging, but I wasn’t motivated. And here it comes my first advice:

1.)    Wait if you are not absolutely sure you can’t stop (or you don’t want to stop) smoking.

You can find lots of articles about how you can break this a bad habit and replace it with a good one. I think those people who write these articles have never smoked or they still do it.

My second advice:

2.)    You don’t have to be very motivated, this project depends on how you think after breaking this bad habit. If you start thinking of your package of cigarettes as a friend and you think “Ohh crap, let’s start it, but it’s gonna be hard as fuck” then go back to my first advice, because you’re not ready yet.

I think the best way to get rid of a bad habit is to change your whole life. And yes, it’s a huge sacrifice. 

My third and last advice:

3.)    Firstly, listen to a fucking good song. Delete your Facebook account. After a couple of weeks if you want, create a new one, but don’t add every bastard from your town. Change your life, get rid of the energy vampires, get rid of those bastards who are just trying to take advantage of you. Start something new, do something crazy, enjoy your life! And do not think of your cigarettes as a sex partner who gives you one of the best feelings in the world. Think of that package as your worst enemy who likes to see you in pain, who loves when you think you’re just a loser. Stand up and shout loudly: I already won!

And now let’s be honest. How is it going?

The “not too comfortable period” is the first week. You get angry very easily, you lose your patient, and you’ll start eating… A lot.

Get the following things if you don't want your friends to kill you. 

-          Chewing gum (as much as you can buy)

-          Water (as much as you can buy)

-          Some seeds (for example sunflower seeds)

-          Fruits and vegetables

-          Some sweet stuff (maximum two snickers)

Stop watching horror, action or fucking drama movies, shows, series. Only comedy and go out every day. Delete your “My job is boring, my boss is an asshole, my life sucks, I’m gonna cry now” songs and replace all of them with good, happy, motivating ones.

Take a picture of your whole body (naked, half naked, dressed, it doesn’t matter) now take a piece of paper and write: I am a smart, proud human being and not a “I gave up on my life and goals” loser like this idiot in this photo who I used to be. 

Glue the picture and the text on your mirror and take a look at them every day. Look in the mirror every day and repeat with open eyes: I used to be one of the weakest things on earth because I let a package of cigarettes control my life. Now I am a winner. I’ve chosen me over smoking.

Don’t forget: Everything depends on the way how you think. It’s easy if you think it’ll be easy. 

Let's draw something

How’s my world without smoking and sugar?

I had no idea how hard this challenge was going to be and I still don’t know if it was the best choice or I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.

Without smoking I eat a lot, now I’m not as hairy as a mammoth, but I also eat as much as a mammoth. So this post is about transformation.

I decided to leave my university and live my life, deal with my bucket list. Here it is again:

        Learn how to skateboard

-          Live in Brighton

-          Make new friends with 5 bloggers from different countries

-          Change someone’s life

-          Have a Husky

-          Go to Faroe Islands

-          Go to Canada

-          Find 20 new very good friends

-          Have a wife and two children

-          Work for Unicef and WWF

-          Be a professional blogger

-          Travel around the world

-          Meet Shinedown

-          Learn how to draw

-          Speak 3 languages fluently

-          Support my family

-          Help people

-          Be a journalist 

I want to talk about some of them. 

My first item on this list is: Learn how to skateboard. 

Fortunately, I’m already working on it because I got to know about 5-6 skateboarders and one of them promised me to teach. Meanwhile I have to write an article about them so I’m also working on “Be a journalist” item.

Next one: “Live in Brighton” now I left my university I can do whatever I want to do, I am free. I don’t want to go home I think I still have to stay here in Budapest but I’m planning on moving to Brighton within two years.

I still want to mention two items –

Speak 3 languages fluently – I’ve decided to restart learning German. It’s gonna be really difficult for me because let’s face it..  learning three foreign languages at the same time …not the easiest thing, but I had already learnt it, so I think I’ll be able to handle this.

And the last item I want to talk about is: “How to draw”. I’m just getting better and better thanks to many books and videos on the internet. 

The pictures speak for me -

Before I started my project I wasn't pationt. And I'm not saying that now I am the most pationt person on this planet, but now I don't freak out if I have to wait 10 minutes for someone. 

So my drawing "skills" before I started to live my life:

I'm gonna help you. It was going to be a Husky.

My drawing skills now (after two weeks)

Much better but still a big piece of shit. 

It can also happen to you!

Sometimes it’s really hard to decide how I should start a post. Today it’s harder than ever. 

I gave my first package to a person who really needed it.

My first “awesome package” (I think I was drunk when I came up with this name…) includes these things:

- Water, some candy, apples, meat and bread. I know.. it could be much more.. 

Next question: And I should give it to?...

And then I just found an article about a guy (he’s a programmer and a car mechanic) who lives in a CALL BOX on the street. 

He rented a house from his friend, who had debit. Unfortunately, this friend couldn’t pay for the instalment (I hope this is the correct word for it) so our hero had to leave the apartment immediately. Of course first he went to a homeless shelter, but come on. 

Let’s face it. Those places are like a piece of shit, warm enough but I wouldn’t stay in there for long.

 However I visited this man because I wanted to know if I could help him somehow. I gave this “awesome package” to him and took some pictures. He doesn’t wanna see his face on the internet, this is the reason because I can’t show any pictures of him. 

He has no family because he’s an orphan child.  We had a quite long conversation and I have to admit: he’s clever, he’s cool, and he’s trying to keep clean his “area”. Normally in Hungary a flat costs 300-400 euros. (if you want to rent it) 

I think it’s not a lot of money. After the article some people offered him a job, but there’s still a problem: He needs a place where he can sleep. He can have take a shower and so on. 

So this is the reason because I’ve started this gofundshit thing. Maybe it’ll work. I hope…

You can read the whole article here. (Unfortunately it's in Hungarian)

I got fired

Top 5 songs if the following things happen to me:

-          Got fired

-          Hate the entire world

-          I’m motivated

-          I’m drawing

-          I’m bored but I want to be motivated again.

-          when I broke up with someone.

-          When someone broke up with me.

And what happened now?

I just got fired. But I knew something was going to happen.

I’m sure you also know the feeling when everything is just fine and perfect like in a girly Disney movie. 

You smile all day like an idiot, you’re confident and courageous, birds are singing, your enemies are jealous of your coolness, you find 50 $ on the pavement and everyone wants to be like you.

And then when you don’t expect it… Your life gives you a finger. 

And this is my story how I had a job for almost two days. 

I met my future (now ex) boss, everything went very well. We drunk some beers, smoked, and talked a lot. 

And finally he started what I exactly wanted to hear:

“I am going to help you. You seem a nice guy, don’t worry! I want to hire you, I want to work with you! Come into my office sometime and we’ll sign the papers”

Well two days later I got this message from him: Sorry, this is real life. We’ve found a lot better person than you.”

So welcome to the “I’m unemployed and living on my parents” club again. But technically I didn’t get fired because I still hadn’t work for that guy. 

But I trusted him as shit. However

I was just sitting for a while (or maybe for 30 minutes) I started thinking:

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! A lot better person? What the shit do you mean by that?”

2 minutes later it got worse, of course:

“You bastard… then go and fuck your real life in doggy style! I am just an idiot, I fucked up again etc.”

 But it has helped me realize something. Just imagine you walk on the street and see a mother and her daughter. This mother is yelling at her the following way:

“You didn’t do your homework, you little motherfucker?! You’re just a useless piece of shit, I don’t understand how you could come into this world.”

What would you do? I think You’d want to kick that mother or at least yell at her to stop. 

And now let’s see another situation:

What are your thoughts like when you fuck up something?
“I’m an idiot, of course I fucked it up. I’m the biggest loser in history. I wish a car hit me.”

I realized it does matter how I speak about myself and I have to know where I am as a person. I think you can change your diet, you can change your friends, house, car, the country where you live in, but the most important thing is the way how you think.

And I needed 22 years to realize this. What a loser, bastard, idiot, nice person I am.

So here’s my list –

-          One republic – I lived

-          A day to remember – All I want

-          Shinedown – Goodbye is a second chance

-          Shinedown – The sound of madness

-          Nightwish – The islander

And how my project is going?

I haven’t smoked for 62 hours, and since this project I walk a lot and I drink 1.5 litres of water every day. Of course it’s gonna get harder, 2 litres then 3 and more kilometres, more challenges. But it’s still the first month and I want to get used to my new life which doesn’t include cigarettes, sugar, boring stuff, and depression.

And what do I do when I just got fired?
First I’m licking my wound like a dog. Afterwards I give a finger to the whole world and just smile!

The first 8 months and an awesome package every month.

Sometimes everyone has to push the restart button. You promise something and 2 days later break it.

My story how I’ve broken my promise, my plan, is this:

I needed a job, I got an opportunity and my future boss made me smoke a cigarette with him.

And of course if you want to seem a “cool, nice” employee then normally you don’t say a big no to your new boss’ wish.  This is how you start being a robot that always says: “Yes boss!”

So that’s why I’ve decided to restart my whole “8 months’ plan”. I’m kind of embarrassed, and ashamed.

Some rules:

-          I have to read a book every month (in English)

-          I have to give an “awesome package” to a homeless person every month.

-          I stop eating sugar. Unfortunately it’s almost impossible in this century because EVERYTHING contains sugar. But from now on I’m not gonna buy candy, juice, chocolate, so eventually I’m trying to avoid sugar in my 8 months.

-          I have to do something for my society. Now I moved to Budapest (Hungary) so I have to do something for the Hungarian society. I still don’t know what exactly but I’ll figure out something.

-          I have to stop smoking.

What is “awesome package”?
One day I was walking in the park and I got an idea. What if I don’t smoke? I save money and what if when I do the shopping I buy something also for someone else? I make a small package (it’ll contain food, something sweet and maybe a can of beer) and I give this “fucking stupid name” package to someone who really needs it.

These were the basic rules. Now let’s see what I’m going to have to do every day in the first month.

 Here’s how my first month would look like:

I have to…

-          drink 1.5 litres of water every day

-          walk two kilometres every day (doesn’t count when I meet someone or just go buy something. I’ll have to go to a park.)

-          No smoking, no sugar

-          One awesome package for a homeless person (seriously if you know a better name, please let me know!)

It’s just the first month. It’s just gonna get harder. 

The day when I left my university

What would you tell your parents when you’ve finally decided to give up on the university?

I've collected my reasons.

First of all: 

My degree is not valuable. I had to admit but (unfortunately) it’s kind of true. With tourism degree I can do nothing.

Second of all:
I’ve had some very long conversations with people about how my degree would not be valuable and it is just a waste of time (and money). I don’t want to waste my time on stupid or useless stuff. My bucket list is ready and I know it sounds weird or funny, but I’d like to start living my life. 

Finally now I know what I am interested in and I could study at my university, but there’s a problem because then I am going to have to take more student loans. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don’t want to start my adult life with a big debit. 

Normally a person starts from zero, I think with debit I would start from minus 10.

And my last reason: I would like to live a full life. 

I want to learn how to skateboard and draw. I want to learn languages and the most important thing is: I want to get rid of my panic attacks and live without fears.

So I’ve come up with a “how to change your life within 8 months” plan.